Pondering Boudoir Photography
As an insecure, anxious and somewhat (very) anti-social person, I absolutely hate having my picture taken. I’ve made photo avoidance an art form over the years, and generally, I’m good with that. I have little moments of guilt for not appearing in the pictures of my son’s life, but appease that with knowing I was there and the one behind the camera, immortalizing his experiences.
When a picture is prompted (i.e. here), I usually just choose a cat shot, and with many years of multiple cats, I have lots of choices. Medium features Miracle (aka Mira), my girl of tortitude.
As I’ve been unable to work for the last couple of weeks (thanks again, Russian hackers!), I’ve spent a lot of time dancing around Quora and Medium, as well as other internet spaces, looking at new things, discovering new writers and interests, and I stumbled across Boudoir Photography.
It appeals to a certain part of me — the part that yearns to be empowered and proud of who I am, and how I look. The part that believes that I am sensual and sexual. The whole “I can love who I am” thing that I’ve never quite been able to get behind. And I think, yes, I should do this, if for no other reason that I would like to feel empowered, proud, sensual and sexual.
The logical part of my brain slams on the brakes at this point…I would need to spend a ridiculous amount of money for photos that I won’t ever share with anyone.
I don’t think my child wants sexy pics of his mumma on his phone. There would never be a blown-up, framed shot in the front hall or stairwell of my home, with me in lingerie and angel wings (which apparently is something I could choose to be posed in). What does one do with the mini album purchased during the session? Put it out on the coffee table?
I can’t see posting an image of my stocking clad legs, with a garter belt or a cleavage baring lacy bra on any site I participate on (although I’ll admit that I’m a little jealous of the women that are both brave enough and beautiful enough to do so, confidently).
So, obviously, this becomes something I would have to do for myself, outside of my fears and issues. I would have to do it before I talked myself out of the whole idea.
My initial studio consultation is next week…