Pondering — Failure to Flirt
Someone I know is flirting with me…maybe?
Light hearted, not serious, never crossing any lines, general “I like you” kind of stuff..I think?
Providing me a much needed ego boost and sense of validation…probably?
Why don’t I know? How did I get to this point and seriously not know if someone is flirting playfully with me?
I like to flirt, I think. I occasionally sort of cyber semi-flirt with Alex Porter, an exceptional person and writer, but a) he flirts with everyone and b) he flirts with everyone. If you ever run across him, here or on Quora, ask him about peaches and eggplants — it’s eye opening.
He doesn’t know me nor I him, so I’m really just part of the “everyone” he flirts with. It’s not personal or really directed at me and honestly, I don’t know if he’s like that in the real world. It’s part of his charm and how he chooses to relate to his adoring public. I’m literally old enough to be his mother, and although very much a cat lady, I’m not a cougar, even if he’s a beautifully tattooed, exceptional person and writer. But I digress…
Circling back to the original query…is there flirting? What if I’m wrong? What if there’s no flirt and I’m trying to read into something that isn’t really there? Why am I overthinking this and what it means? Why does it have to mean anything? Sigh…
Somewhere along the way, my cynical self has forgotten how to enjoy the pleasure of playful repartee, the clever double entendre, the surface compliment. In those moments, I have no sass, no spark, no witty response. Those moments are squashed the minute my mind turns the thoughts and words over (and over) and comes up with “wait, what?”.
I am the poster girl for failure to flirt…